K-On! Monday! 42

 Welcome all to the answer to life, the universe, and everything else; K-On! Monday! 42.

 This is what we're talking about today. 

Today I thought it would be cool to show off the collectors edition of Ho-Kago Tea Time II. I've already explained what this album was all the way back in 5 Keions! 5 Mondays! 

Remember the cassette

Back then I showed off the cassette, I wanted to show what the rest of the package looked like. Not the CD itself however, I still need to stretch this thing out. 

This is what that bottom cover looks like up close

And what the front cover looks like spread out. 

 

I adore that spread out cover art. It speaks to me on design level, never underestimate the rule of 3rds. Plus that inside are is cute too, I don't really care that much.

Anyway, that should be it for today. I was looking at laptops for next year today, I thought I needed something more powerful for engineering. The Thinkpad T14 looks good, I'll just need to save for it. I was thinking about posting a kinda part II to yesterday's future post. If it isn't in my tomorrow then idk. Anyway have a good week,

See ya

The Future

I'm going to be honest with you all, I have no idea what I'm doing. 

I feel like in going in cycles here. I have these highs, where I think I have things figured out. Then I just spiral into a pit again. The last few days I've been spending too much time mulling on my decisions and direction in life. It's definitely my fault, I've been getting recommended those videos about college/university majors, on all the platforms I use. I see all sorts of things about adulthood, and I'm just losing my mind here. 

This post is titled "The Future", and what does that mean? Well, I'm still not sure about my direction in life. If I'm being honest with you all (again), I still don't know if engineering is right for me. Honestly, I don't know what is right for me. Sometimes I think I'm just distracting myself, like learning Japanese for example, should I continue? Will I actually need it in my life? Or is it just a distraction? 

Or it isn't. Look I wrote those first two paragraphs a few hours ago, and since then I've spoken to someone and calmed myself down. I think my problem is that I overthink things too much, and I think I've been over-studying too much. Let's start with overthinking, once I have a thought about myself I just spiral into deep thought, digging myself into a dark hole of my thoughts. I need to do what I did today more often and just talk to someone about what I'm thinking. 

Next is my over-study thing. Now, I don't know how much of a problem this actually is. But I do believe that I need to use my time more effectively, right now I think I'm spending too much time studying, or at least trying to. Doing this for the last few weeks has left me burnt out, and I need to get on top of it before next year. 

Now back to the matter at hand. I think it's fine that I don't know what I want to do. Look, I'm only 20 I've still got years left of my young adult life. Even still, I don't really need to figure something out until mid-next year. 

Look the future is scary, honestly, it's fucking terrifying. However, tomorrow always comes, and I just need to face it.

See ya

I need better time management skills, otherwise ill burnout.

I think I need to treat university like a job. 

K-On! Monday! 41

Happy K-On! Monday! 

Alright, today we're going to look at another K-On! cd, this time the single for don't say "lazy". 

It's one of those small CD cases that have clear backs

I think I got it on my trip in June, (I just had to look, I got it from the JEUGIA store in Kyoto brand new. See Here.) I totally forgot, haha. 

See look, all the inside is there. Plus no smokers dust. 

Speaking about the song itself, I mean lots of people already know about it so. Honestly, I've only started listening to the K-On eds more often recently. Don't say lazy is probably the best, but I quite like signing too. 

In other related news, Kyoani announced that City, the sequel to Nichijou, would be getting an anime. You don't understand how awesome that is. I actually read the first chapter of it a few months ago, and it's just as good as Nichijou, if not better. It's so much more dynamic than Nichijou and leans into exploring the city as a whole, and how the different jokes affect each other and lead into one another. Plus Aki Toyosaki, who played Yui, is in it, I guess that relates back to today.  It's probably releasing late next year, very excited about it. 

Anyway, that should be it for tonight, I'll post something tomorrow, I promoice. 

See ya

Peak incoming, forget about that deer anime. 

K-On! Monday! 40

 Evening everyone,

I'm sorry, I'm too tired tonight. I had a Japanese test today, I hope it went well.

See ya

I'm feeling good this week

I don't know why, but I've been feeling great since Tuesday. I'm sorry about that K-On! Monday post, even though sometimes I don't like posting one week. I don't like posts like that. I've tried to keep this blog more positive than my last, yes there have been exceptions, but I don't like that one from Monday. 

Moving on, I started fresh on Tuesday, with a spring in my step. I had a good day, I went to a Japanese study group and had a fun chat with people that I hadn't seen in a few months, then stayed at uni till dark studying. It was a very fun, and productive day. 

On Wednesday, I had to go into the city for an eye test. For context I want to get new pairs of glasses for studying, after a while it gets hard to read. Anyway, while at the train station, I got an email from my Japanese teacher saying that Kobe University was offering a winter study course. Awesome right?! So it's in January and goes for about three weeks. PLUS it counts towards my university degree. So that night I wrote my application, asked my sensei for help, and sent it away today. I'm really hoping I get in, that would be so awesome. I'll include what I wrote down below, just because. 

Like I said before, I asked my Japanese sensei for some help, while in class. I also sorted out my university degree today as well. If you remember a paragraph ago, I said that the course counts towards my degree, well I decided to make Japanese my major today, well of. Like I've probably said before, I'm switching to engineering, so having a double degree would be great. Then I spent the rest of the night here at uni. I'm still here right now too, about to leave. I also caught up with some Labor people today, repairing those bridges too. 

Honestly, I think this week has been a wake-up call, I need to stay proactive and good things will happen. Plus I'll feel a lot better about myself. Anyway, hope you all have a great week,

See ya

 For some context here, the question was what would you like to do while you are in Japan.

日本語をべんきょうするのが好きですから、日本の大学でべんきょうしのたいです。それは、おもしろくてたのしです。そして、私はこうべしでりょこうしたいです。店やきれいなたてものやれきしをみたいです。私もにしのみやしにでいくたいですから、そのちかくです。しかし、一番したいのは日本人の友だちと新しい友だちでつくたいです。

Studying Japanese has made me feel really smart

 and it's super cool that wrote that and can read it.

K-On! Monday! 39

 Evening, 

I don't know why but I can't shake this feeling of crapness, though honestly, I don't know why. I feel like a broken record at his point, I don't talk to people. I think I've probably spoken to maybe 10 different people in the last 3-ish months. And I mean like long, proper conversations. Every week I write about my problems and expect something to change, without putting in the work to see it through. But I still don't know what it is I feel so shit about? Is it my lack of friends? My direction in life? Or that life itself? It's probably all of them, but what do I do? Like seriously? I don't know what to do. 

Alright instead of spiraling, let's talk about K-On!

This is a photo of my manga collection, I still need to get the last two volumes of shuffle. That's it for today

See ya

K-On! Monday! 38

 Alright, I'm really tired tonight. So I'm just going to say I've bought some more K-On! stuff on Neokyo, it should be coming in the mail in like a month. 

See ya

Here's a sneak peak

The importance of friendship, taking it slow, and making the most of life.

I've had this thought this past week or so, It's I guess I've been thinking about it for the past twoish years. Having people in your life is really, and I mean REALLY important. I'll be honest with you all, I've crept back into my shell these last two months. Last semester I thought I was making some real progress. Like I was actually meeting new people every week, and I was kinda enjoying myself. But since the start of this semester, I've haven't talked to anyone. I kinda spoke about this in my state of the union post, but it wasn't just the labor people I've ghosted. I can't atchally tell you why I've done this, I think might have to do with my revalation in the break, but that might just be a deflection. The real reason is because I havn't continued to put in the effort. I rushed into it and burned out. Thats the other big thing I've learned its that you need to put in the effort to meet with people. I think its easy to talk to people while in school, you see the same people everyday and spend all day with them. Now you have to make time to see them, and I'm not going to lie its been very hard for me. I always thought that I would have a hard time transiting in the real world. During our school holidays I usually ghosted my school friends, and never talked to them. I always needed that push school provided. I kinda knew I would be like this too, I remember having this deep, sick felling in my gut about it. I also never hung out with them afterschool too. I always felt too afraid, like I was doing something wrong. Its my biggest regret in life, not a day goes by when I don't think about it. You just get used to the daily life of school, thinking that you can always do something different next year. That I'll start hanging out with them when I'm older, or next term. Then all of a sudden its all over.  I remember towards the end of my last year, I had this horrible thought, that I wasted my life. That I hadn't made the most of my teen years,  I brushed it off as nothing, but its lingered ever since. After school, when everyone was just hanging out doing nothing, I was working full time and missed out. Watching everyone hangout and party sucked. Now I'm at uni doing the something again. I'm missing out on the best years of my life. I don't know what to do. I hate myself for it. Insted of telling anyone about my day, or the shows or games I like, all I have is this blog. Like no one is reading this, this just goes out into the void like every other blog. It need to stop. I know its hard for me, and that its not my fault that I have autism. But I need to push though it. I keep thinking that everyone will hate me for some reason, that I'll lose my composure and end up losing everything. But I need to push past that, otherwise I'll waste precious time again. 

I'm watching the career episode of K-On right now, its ways a relatiable one for me. I really didn't know what I wanted to do at the end of high school. So seeing the characters go though the same thing is nice. I know they aren't real, but its nice to know other people in the real world are the same as me. I find comfort in the shows depiction of it, where the characters don't fully know their futures yet, but will figure them out evenly, but going out and exploring the world. That you need to take you time with like, not rush into things. It helped me a lot last year, and fueled my motivation going into this year. I just need that motivation and courage for meeting people to come back. I need to get back to meeting friends, but I can't rush into it. Otherwise I'll burnout and crawl back into my shell.  

See ya

I just need to take things slowly, my life, friends,

I can't rush into things.