K-On! Monday 33!

Happy K-On! Monday all,

Here is a Mio Plushie for the road,

See ya

I'm a Teenager

 Well, this is it, the last hour and a half is here. It's kinda weird you know? Like being a teenager only really matters when you're a teenager. I mean, it doesn't really matter, it's not like I'm going to transform into an adult with a newfound maturity. I'm still going to be the same person I am right now, but I don't know, do you lose something? Is it just like going from 29 to 30? Or does this have more of a meaning to it? I think being a teenager doesn't mean that much in retrospect, it's just this age where we are all hormonal, growing up, and finding our meaning in life. To be honest, this last year does not really count either, like growing up more of an 18th birthday thing, not 20. However, it still means something to me. 

I when it was the summer before I turned 13, I had the same feelings I had right now. I feared that when I became a teen, everything would change. I would start doing all the normal teen stuff. But that didn't happen. So I don't know, all I do know is that for one last time, I'm a teenager.

See ya

Hard-hitting quotes from Yui. 

Ordinary Life

I think I finally got it. 

The other day I finally got what 'ordinary life' meant. Honestly, I'm astonished that it took me so long to figure it out. Life isn't about these grand adventures, epic stories that shape who we are. It's about the little things, the people you meet, the things that you experience. That's what drives us, what gives up our purpose. Thought this may be hyperbolic, and a little cringy, but I had this thought when thinking about Sound Euphorum 3. I'll spoil the ending since I'm the only one here, but Kumiko, and some of the other characters, having their ends in the story just be normal lives really changed how I think. Kumiko becoming a teacher is perfect because it isn't some wild end where she becomes a world-renowned star, but a normal person like the rest of us is so nice. This story wasn't about someone who is above the rest of us, someone who is 'special', she's just us and that's what made her special. For a show where much of seasons one and two were spent talking about Reina wanting to be special with her music, and Kimiko joining her. Toying with the idea that you stay playing music, stay special, or give up and spend the rest of your life as a nobody. The end stands out, as Kumiko didn't give up her music, she still has that part of her, and isn't that special? Kumiko still has her love, she can still be happy, still have a purpose, and still be special, all without some extraordinary life. 

The same is true for K-On! While the girls start the show by playing at the Budokan, the show's climax is playing in front of their friends, the school, and Azusa. These moments matter more to them than the Budokan ever could. These moments of ordinary nature, nothing special that we all experience. K-On! fills its episodes with these moments, showing us how special life can be.  They didn't need the Budokan to show how great they were, all they needed was each other, rocking out at the school festival, or cheering up a friend.

And how could I forget Nichijou? The show is literally titled Ordanly Life, and it's the same tune. Packed full of character relationships, moments, and more. Just talking about Nano's journey is just Skiming the iceberg. I'll have to write about the series as a whole later, but for now, know that Nichijoi shows us the best of what normal life has to offer, while yes there are wacky elements in the series. Its themes and ideas are universal. 

This brings it back to me, I've realised I don't need to do something to prove myself, to show that I am here, to give myself purpose. I can find what makes me special, and it doesn't matter if only I care, because that still makes me, me. I only need the people around me to care about me, not the whole world. All I need in life is to enjoy it, yeah. I'll never be great. I won't be written about in history books, they won't have statures built for me or places named in my honour. One day this blog will be the only thing that I'm remembered by. That's fine though, people who seek these things are either egotistical maniacs or children, and I'm stating Tuesday I'm no longer the latter. I just want to enjoy my life, that's all I want now. 

See ya

Kumiko is great, you should watch Eupho

Let's chat

Do you ever get the jitters before school? Anything really, it was the main reason I quit uni last year. Just scared before I started you know? I know I haven't spoken in a while, so let's chat. 

Last time, when I quit, I blamed myself. Thought I was just a coward for giving up when the going would get tough. I blamed and hated myself for it. This spiral leads me down this path I'm on now. This blog, anime, and K-On! were all products of that choice last February. Good or bad, I wouldn't be the person I am right now without that decision, and there's no point in wondering what could have been.  

But what if I was right. 

What if that split decision by a scared kid fresh out of high school wasn't out of cowardice, but something more. I may have been alluding to this for the past few months, but I've been thinking about life a lot more lately, especially what I'm going to do in it considering my Autism. Now look, I hate complaining about his stuff, it just sounds like I'm complaining about how hard my life is when it really isn't. This is just something that's playing a lot in my mind right now. It has become more apparent to me how much Autism will affect my life, to be honest, I broke down last week over it. Nothing major honestly, it that the end of that childish view of the world, when reality finally came down on me. Nothing surprising though, I'll already spoke of this back in one of my uni posts from a few weeks ago. I've already decided to switch to something math-related. However, some details I think have changed. 

I came to the realisation on my Japan trip that I'm not ready for real life, more than that I'm not ready to go away just yet. I just don't think I can function by myself yet, and I'm scared if that's just my age, or it's how I'll always be because of my autism. Honestly, that was probably the catalyst for these thoughts I've been having, it just all came out last week. It's too hard to describe honestly. Although every definitely has gone through something like this. But for me, I just get so frustrated and overwhelmed it's like the world around me is collapsing in on me. Once I get a little bit overwhelmed, it violently ramps up. Until every little thing eats at me and sets me off. I've always been this way, but the scary thing is I don't know if gets worse as I'm getting older. 

Look this is a mess, I'll probably outline my thoughts more soon, probably in more than one post too. The TLDR is I'm still scared about the future, like usual.

See ya

It's been really cold this past week 

K-On! Monday! 32

 Welcome back to K-On! Monday all, up to 32 already huh?

well another quick one tonight, tomorrow I promise. 

It's Yui!

If you've seen stuff from Japan before, you might have seen one of these ic card holders. This stuff is not that popular here in Australia, but that it might just be in my city. As you've probably guessed by now, I got this on my last Japan trip. I thought about it when I got an ic card for the first time, seen here:

an Icoca card!

I got this in Kyoto and also used it to get to Toyosato. Really handy, especially when you're in a rush. I really don't know why I didn't get one last time, considering the amount of travelling I did, but I use it when back home. When I got my hands on the card I just knew I had to get a K-On! theme holder. Luckily the Gee store in Osaka had some. So I took the train down and picked it up, plus some other K-On! related items I showed off in K-On! Monday! 28.

Lastly, I started Uni today. It's really scary not going to lie. The constant fear that I'm going to fail never seems to leave me. I'll get there I hope. I'll post a big update tomorrow, and then something else later in the week. It's also my birthday next Tuesday, I'm turning 20. Fuck. I'll do something on Monday, probably something melancholy about the end of my teen years. I'll also do K-On! Monday! so don't worry. Anyway, have a great week.

See ya

K-On! Monday! 31

Hello all, welcome back to K-On! Monday! 

I know I haven't been posting in a while, but I promise to post something this week. For now, here's my new toaster

See ya

K-On! Monday! 30

 

Happy K-On! Monday! everyone, 30 huh? Who would have thought? 

A big post coming tomorrow.

See ya

K-On! Monday! 29

 Hello all,

Today I’ll just show off my Toyosato pictures, thanks. 

See ya