I think I'm too hard on myself, let me explain.
I think I need to give myself more credit when it's due sometimes, or when something goes wrong, I punish myself too much. For instance during school times, uni or high school, I'm always pushing myself to study, as a sort of punishment. While this is great as I do well academically, I need to give myself more lean room. It's part of that regret post from a few months ago. I think I wasted my last few high school years trying to study for no reason, and I think I'm making the same mistake again.
For example look at Sunday's (にちようび）post. I had a meltdown over nothing, I'm actually doing fine in Japanese, plus that book report did well. You see the problem isn't I'm not working hard, it's just that I think I'm not working hard. When is still a good mindset to have, at least I think it is, however, I'm always putting myself down because of it. I won't go into details in a public place, but it's something I should tell my therapist, that came out really edgy, didn't it?
Honestly, I've always done this, I used to get physical with myself too. When I'm really pissed off I still do. I really wish I didn't do it, but the feeling of hatred towards myself is so great, I just can't help it. I definitely need to tell my therapist haha. Though this blog does help.
Anyway to make a long story short, I need to be nicer to myself. I have flaws, I need to accept them, and I need to stop judging myself on other people. Especially when the other people are just as flawed as me.
TRIP NEWS. To not leave this post in a melancholic state, I have some news on the June Japan trip. I've decided to extend the trip by a few days, and I'm going to spend the time in the city of Kobe (こべ), which is west of Osaka (おおさか). This means I'll be able to revisit Nishinomiya (にしのみや) too.
I'll leave it at that. Hope you all have a great Friday and weekend, remember to watch Sound! Euphonium on Sunday.
See ya.
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