Alright, I'm just writing this to get something out there. These last 10 days have been a blur. For starters, I went ahead and updated my website again. This time I added more Yui photos, a change log, and cleaned up the code. Plus I used the rest of my K-on! photos to create a Keions page. Overall I'd say the website has been a great success, it's even 2nd ranked on Google! What I wanted from this site was just a place to post a bunch of Yui pictures, mainly to use at those stands at computer stores. Plus a chance to learn HTML. With that in mind, it's worked out well.
Now, on to more important matters. In just over eight hours I'm leaving for Japan. Very exciting stuff. But that isn't what I want to talk about. You can go read the last post for that stuff. I want to do a brief reflection on the past months of my life because it's been a wild few months. I'll be the first to admit it, I wasn't the happiest person at the start of June. While this may be very selfish of me, I really did hate myself. While yes, my life was going great. I had a well-paying job, going to University the following year, and a perfect home life. I still wasn't enjoying myself. Like I said, selfish. But I don't entirely blame myself. Why? You may ask. Because I did the very thing I feared for years, something that I always knew would happen.
I failed.
For context, Throughout my last year of school. I worked very, very hard to get ready for University. Eventually, I got into the top Uni in my state, studying History, Japanese, and politics. But I didn't even last a day. I dropped out midway through my first politics lecture. While I had my reasons, I'll get into those later, I always blamed myself. Something you need to know about me is that I'm very hard myself, specifically when I fail. You can imagine what this would have felt like. I despised myself, I was miserable, directionless, and hopeless. This is why I started really watching anime. Up until this point I only had seen a handful of shows and movies. But something changed. Maybe it was my deteriorating mental health, or the fact I had only spoken to four people in two months. But I started really getting into it. Kicking off with watching Suzume in theatres, then Erased On Crunchyroll. I finally found myself really enjoying it. But then I came across something, a studio that Kyoto Animation From Haruhi to Hibike! Euphonium. I was in love. But there was still a gaping hole left unfilled. I felt that I was searching for something. Something that could help me see the whole picture. Which led me to a show about nothing, K-on! Everything in this show is amazing, from its characters, plot, and its perfect ending. It is a masterpiece. I'm not going to get into detail now, but this show and a certain movie changed everything. It gave me clarity. I finally found what I was searching for. This all is weird to say. How a show can really change the way we view the world. As I said in my regret essay. I don't think I'm a failure anymore I wouldn't feel that way if it wasn't for that dumb TV show. Which in itself, is a really dumb statement. This trip is the start of something new. The real next step in my life. I wasn't a failure for quitting University, I'm going back anyway, I just wasn't ready. I still don't know if I am, but we'll find out.
See ya.
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